Friday, October 8, 2010

My Heart Aches


My Heart aches to walk the dirt roads, holding precious little hands, loving on every single child, sharing His word. I am dying to be there. My heart aches daily to be there.
I question God's Will, even though I shouldn't.
Asking "Do I belong there?" "Is it Your Will?" "Am I insane"
I don't think I am and I truly in my heart believe God is calling me there. I just am impatient. The waiting is so hard. The watching others go and me stay behind, still. Over and over. Is Hard. I know God has some amazing plan for my life. HE knows where I will be and what HIS plans for my life. I just wish I could be there now. Not sitting home feeling hopeless. Some day I will be there. I am questioned "why Africa?" "How could you possibly be willing to give your life up to go there"
I just answer "God called me so Why Not?"
I know I seem terribly young to think God has called me somewhere but for over 3 years Africa has been on my heart. God has slowly changed my heart and changed the way I view the World.
Please be Praying with Me that God clearly shows me where HE wants me. Please Pray that if it is HIS Will I am able to go this summer. Wouldn't that be amazing? Please be Praying for Me (:
Sorry for whining ;) My heart is just heavy today.
He must become greater; I must become less. -John 3:30

8 comments:

jessica ann said...

Ashton, My heart aches with you sister!

Molly said...

Ashton, my heart is right there with you sweet girl. You are not complaining at all. God has put a passion and a fire in your heart for these precious kids. And when we are not there our hearts LONG. Keep your eyes on HIM and His timing for you. Have you checked out etalla.org? it's run by a really neat girl who has siblings from Ethiopia. they're putting together a trip for this summer. Let me know if you want any more information about it! :)
Thanks for sharing your heart!
In Christ,
Molly

Sharon said...

Ashton, it is defiantly obvious that this is God calling you to Africa! You are not crazy AT ALL!! And you are NOT too young! God can use anyone at any age! And yes, God does have an amazing plan for you and with a heart like yours I am excited to see where He leads you. That's usually where it all starts, a longing to be there (wherever there may be).

Yeah Etaala is a great organization to go with (That's who I went with) :). Here is the website: http://www.etaala.org/development/.I can't remember if I told you about Ellie or not, but she started it with another amazing girl Rachel.
Here is Ellie's blog:
http://www.myethiopiansisters.blogspot.com/
And Rachel's: http://rachel-lane.blogspot.com/

Sharon said...

Praying for you! And we still need to meet! Lol!

natali said...

love you, ashton-buddy! i am so praying for you :)

Staci said...

Ashton, thank you so much for posting this! I will most definitely be praying for you--that He leads you to where He wants you to be (which is always the best!!). I'm right with you in this too for sure! Praying on where God will lead me and continue to lead me to :) Oh, and don't ever believe people if they tell you you are "too young" or question how you know you're called..the myth of what society and most people think the teen years "should be" is crazy messed up..God has an amazing purpose for you and you're not at all crazy to follow His leading to Africa!!

Lexie said...

Ashton! You know I'm praying right there with you! I want you soo bad to get to experience the beauty of it all! And once you go your heart will even be MORE aflame!

Everyday I pray that He would send me again. I haven't got my answer YET...in his timing! But one thing He has been teaching me is to enjoy each and every second where I am right NOW! We are on the missionfield every single second!! It's been a hard lesson for me to learn because i want to be THERE just like you! Together, my sister, we will keep dreaming of that day that we are there (!!!), praying God sends us...all while doing the good work
HERE!

And that is what makes being in Gods will sooo exciting!

Praying for you girl!!

Lex

Kristi said...

Ashton,

If only all of us were so aching to be part of God's plan right here, right now...
Praying that you will find peace in your wait!